Who Do You Think You Are?
by brahdley jims
Summary: He collects his jar of hearts. - Scorpius/Lily, little bit of Scorpius/Rose.
1. Jar of Hearts

**AN: **Written for no particular reason at all, really, except that I've recently fallen in love with Christina Perri and this song especially, and just needed to pour out all my inspiration from it into this :) I actually really dislike Scorpius/Lily (hardcore Scorpius/Rose fan here), but I've got this theory that if I write more about Lily Luna, I'll come around to her a bit. And writing is all about pushing yourself, right? :)

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><p><em>I know I can't take one more step towards you<em>

'_Cause all that's waiting is regret_

_And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore_

_You lost the love I loved the most_

_I learned to live half alive_

_And now you want me one more time_

You never forget the first boy who stole your heart. Or in my case, the only boy who ever stole my heart.

Scorpius Malfoy had started out as my silly teenage crush. Well, not even teenage – I was eleven when he first came round to our house for Christmas. Being Albus' best friend, I saw a lot more of him than I would have done otherwise. Scorpius was pleasant enough to me. He'd smile at me, and make small talk, and listen to me jabbering on about Merlin only knows what. Or maybe he was only pretending to listen. I always seemed to start rambling when I was in his presence, and I'd blush furiously whenever he first addressed me. The point is, for a long time he barely knew who I was. To him, I was Lily Luna Potter, Al's little sister, the one with the tomato hair. Yeah, her. We led two very separate lives, but all I wanted was for him to be a part of mine, and I a part of his. I'd let my naïve, young imagination run away with itself, dreaming up impossible scenarios between us and planning out our future life together. To me, it was perfect, practically destiny – if you believed in such a thing.

He was Al's best friend. James didn't much like him. I was smitten by the age of thirteen.

_And who do you think you are_

_Running round leaving scars_

_Collecting your jar of hearts_

_And tearing love apart_

_You're gonna catch a cold_

_From the ice inside your soul_

_So don't come back for me_

_Who do you think you are_

Of course I'd heard stories about Scorpius Malfoy. He was the Hogwarts Heartbreaker, corny as it sounds. His record for dating a girl was three weeks. Shameful, but at the time, that only showed to me that he just hadn't found the right girl yet.

And what was I thinking? Yes. That I was the right girl for him. Because as far as I was concerned, he was the right and only boy for me. We were going to get married and have little blonde-haired, blue-eyed children. He was going to proclaim his love for me in the most romantic and public way possible. They were cringe worthy daydreams, but I was only young, and still in love with the idea of love.

Scorpius finally started to notice me when I was in my fifth year, and he in his seventh. Or maybe he'd noticed me beforehand, and was just waiting for my turn to fall headfirst for him to come around. Perhaps he had a list of all the girls he could date without there being a scandalous age difference. In any case, I was delighted when he asked me out. It was as simple as that. After all my dreams and fantasies and pining over him for five years, all it took was for him to ask me out one day after classes had finished for me to be completely swept off my feet.

I was in love with Scorpius Malfoy. I was sure of that now. And maybe if that thought had terrified me even in the slightest, I would have been more careful.

_I hear you're asking all around_

_If I am anywhere to be found_

_But I have grown too strong_

_To ever fall back in your arms_

_And I've learned to live half alive_

_And now you want me one more time_

Scorpius treated me like a princess. He'd buy me anything I wanted in Hogsmeade, even when I didn't ask for it, he'd open doors for me and pay attention to anything I said. He'd hold my hand in the corridors and in front of his friends, in front of my friends, in front of everybody. Nobody ever genuinely smiled at us, though. When we passed people, more often than not there was one look, and one look only, in their eyes. Pity. And while that confused me, it didn't matter. Nothing did when I was with Scorpius. Because when he kissed me, I melted into his arms, fireworks exploding in my head and electricity shooting up my spine and through my veins. I felt like my body was on fire when he touched me. He made me feel _wanted._

He was perfection, and he was all mine.

That month and a half was the most beautiful time of my life. Yes, a month and a half. After doubling his record for dating a girl, I was convinced that I was the girl Scorpius wanted, I was the one he'd been searching for. Maybe I'd never grown up from the eleven year old girl with a crush on her brother's best friend.

I never knew how right I was.

He dumped me as quickly as our relationship had started. Scorpius had met me by the Black Lake, after sneaking out of our common rooms while everyone else was asleep. It was the most romantic escapade I'd been part of yet. Going on a date after hours, kissing under the stars and the moonlight. Maybe even going further than heavy kissing – Scorpius had a way of persuading me to do things in a way so I'd think all the decisions were being made by me. It didn't turn out like that, though. Not at all.

It all happened very fast. He'd presented me with a pretty necklace when I met him, and kissed me. As soon as we pulled away, me grinning like a Cheshire cat, he told me it wasn't working out. I could already feel my world falling down around me. Scorpius told me he simply needed to move on, that he didn't love me like that anymore. He rattled out the harshest words in the gentlest way. To soften the blow? Or to make sure no other girls were put off by rumours I might spread about him being cruel, and cold, and heartless?

He was all three, in my book. But I was never one to go around gossiping.

_And who do you think you are_

_Running round leaving scars_

_Collecting your jar of hearts_

_And tearing love apart_

_You're gonna catch a cold_

_From the ice inside your soul_

_So don't come back for me_

_Who do you think you are_

I didn't know what to feel when he started dating Rose. Rose, my cousin. Rose, the girl with red hair like me (_but curly) _and brown eyes like me (_but softer). _Rose, the cousin who managed to outshine me in anything no matter what I did. Yes, I'd been jealous of her before. I was more of a social butterfly than she'd ever be, nose in her books all the time, and yet people seemed to gravitate towards her more than me. In my opinion, I had a right to be jealous.

But now? Now I was just plain bitter.

It hurt me to see _her _holding hands with Scorpius. It made me sick to see _her_ laughing at his witty remarks and giggling when he kissed her cheek. It angered me to see how quickly Scorpius had found someone else after me. Two days was all it took. He allowed me two days to get over the breakup. I shouldn't have expected anything else, really.

The hurt and resentment and outrage I felt made me look ugly. I was seething, and I was upset, and I hated Scorpius Malfoy and Rose Weasley so much. How dare she steal him from me so fast? How dare he treat me like some useless toy that didn't have feelings or opinions? How dare they do this to me?

She only lasted a week longer than me.

All my bitter hatred towards her faded away quickly at the state of her. Rose was just like me. She thought she'd stood a chance with Scorpius, and now she was crushed, defeated. It pained me to look at her, so heartbroken. Nobody stood a chance with Scorpius Malfoy.

Nobody.

_And it took so long just to feel alright_

_Remember how to put back the light in my eyes_

_I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed_

'_Cause you broke all your promises_

_And now you're back_

_You don't get to get me back_

He kissed me again only a week after breaking up with Rose. I've never told anybody. Mum pressed me for information, Dad and James made threats against whoever had made me upset and Al regarded me with suspicion for weeks afterwards.

But I never told anybody why I came home crying that day.

We'd met in a Muggle coffee shop that afternoon. Of course, I'd been more than shocked by the nerve of him when I received his owl that morning, asking if we could meet up to talk. I had no idea what he wanted to talk about. What was there to discuss? He'd broken Rose's heart, just like he'd broken mine, and she'd fallen even harder than me. I only went for the sake of giving him a piece of my mind.

We didn't even have coffee. Scorpius insisted we go for a walk in the nearby park, even though dark grey clouds were closing in overhead. I agreed. I wanted to get this out the way. He started off with a convincing attempt to explain himself, going on and on about how she simply wasn't the one for him, and how very sorry he was for hurting her. Lies, lies, lies. He'd never cared about Rose, just like he'd never cared about me. He'd toyed with her heart, cracking it very slowly and then shattering it with one final blow, before taking the broken pieces for his own. She was no different to me in that sense. We were both victims, no worse or better off than each other. And then Scorpius said something that, stupidly, made me forget all about shouting at him.

He told me he loved me.

I didn't have a chance to form a coherent sentence before he launched forward and put his lips on mine. His kiss was demanding, passionate, raw. He knew how to make me want more, want _him, _and I hated him for it. He knew how to push my buttons, and nobody else had ever been able to do that. He knew how to play me because I was just like every other girl who didn't stand a chance.

I hadn't been able to say anything when we broke apart as it started to rain, breathing heavily. Scorpius was looking down at me, question and sick hope in his eyes. That didn't change the fact that it took all my strength to rip my gaze from his and Apparate back home, before he saw the tears brimming in my eyes.

I'd rushed through the front door and upstairs in tears, hardly able to see or think clearly, or breathe properly. I had sobbed my heart out in my room, listening to the rain pounding against my window, pouring out my anger and heartache into my pillow and desperately hoping the rain would wash my misery away.

_And who do you think you are_

_Running round leaving scars_

_Collecting your jar of hearts_

_And tearing love apart_

_You're gonna catch a cold_

_From the ice inside your soul_

_So don't come back for me_

_Don't come back at all_

I did everything I could to keep my mind off Scorpius. Spending more time than ever studying and doing extra homework, offering to do any chores I could get my hands on, landing a part-time job in Diagon Alley to fill up any leftover hours. By the time my head hit the pillow at night, I was too tired to think of anyone or anything, let alone certain blonde Slytherins. This was what he'd reduced me to with just one unexpected kiss. A hectic, chaotic mess.

It worked, though. After two months of running around like a madwoman and having my entire family worry for my sanity, I sat down and forced myself to think about Scorpius. And nothing stirred inside me. Nothing at all.

Scorpius went back to Rose in the end. Of course he did. Maybe it's the red hair or the Weasley temper that draws him in. He does like to play with his food, I learnt that much. She took him back, of course. But I didn't feel jealousy, like the first time he'd dropped me for my cousin. I only felt anger, and pity, and burning hatred for the Slytherin. He thought he could pick her up and use her whenever it took his fancy. And the sad thing was, he could. He _can._

Oh, Rose. I thought you were smarter than this.

_And who do you think you are_

_Running round leaving scars_

_Collecting your jar of hearts_

_And tearing love apart_

_You're gonna catch a cold_

_From the ice inside your soul_

_Don't come back for me_

_Don't come back at all_

_Who do you think you are?_

_Who do you think you are?_

Scorpius Malfoy was the only boy who ever stole my heart because he never gave it back. But I'm done with him. I'm done with the man who thinks the world revolves around him and I'm done with the man who thought he could just pick me up, play with me, and throw me back down in the gutter like an old ragdoll. Because it doesn't work like that. It doesn't work like that at all.

And I'll watch as he goes around, breaking hearts and crushing dreams and tearing apart people's lives. Just like he devastated my dreams of being with him, just like he ripped apart the life I wanted to have with him. Just like he broke my heart. I'll watch as he knocks them to the floor one by one, leaving behind lies and fake promises and poisonous kisses. I'll stand by, helpless, as he does to other women what he did to me.

Collecting his jar of hearts.

_Who do you think you are?_

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><p>please <strong><em>review<em>** :)


	2. The Lonely

what have you **left me as** ?

**who am I **_**now**_ ?

**I wonder if you **_**know**_ what you've _done_ to **ruin me** ?

_dancing slowly in an empty room_

**I loved you** so much

and **you loved me** so much

and it was _perfect_**[**perfect**]**_perfect_

{ it was _lies_**[**lies**]**_lies_ }

_can the lonely take the place of you?_

it's the only thing _holding me __**together**_ now

as it **holds**_**me**_ in its **((**(_cold embrace_)**))**

and **THE** _LONELY_ rocks me _to sleep_

and now _darling_, I'm _sure_ that you **didn't mean **_**no harm**_

but _that doesn't_ **mean. a. ****thing****. **_now_

because you did _cause harm_

H U R T

A N G E R

**P**

**A**

**I**

**N**

_pain_**pain**pain

_I'm the ghost of a girl that I want to be most_

haunting _**our memories**_

because I **never**never_ever_ **want to let go**

_I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well_

I've taken refuge inside _myself_

letting **[[[**NOBODY**]]]** in

and what's _happened_ to me ?

**I loved you** so much

and **you loved me** so much

what _happened_ **to us** ?

_broken pieces of a barely breathing story_

you left me**.**** one day**

but _little did you know_ { or _did_ you know? }

you **took a ****part**** of me** _with you_

**took a part of me** that was stillholding_on_ to _you_ and you've

**never given it back**

_then you go and let the lonely in_

_to take my heart again_

and now **THE** _LONELY_ is the only thing

keeping me from f-a-l-l-i-n-g _a p a r t_

_dancing in amongst the __memories _

because you've left me **alone**

and I **don't **_**want**_ to _let go_

_can the lonely take the place of you?_

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><p><strong>an **so I've decided to make a series based around Lily/Scorpius and maybe a couple of other characters too, for the 'Make an album into a story' competition on HPFC. So these'll all be Christina Perri songs, from her album. This one was 'The Lonely'. It'll be a series of drabbles, the odd freeverse, and the odd oneshot. :)

Please review :)


	3. Tragedy

I thought you were worth everything. All the times they warned me against you, my family, my friends. I left them all behind. For you. This was supposed to be a fairytale. My fairytale, my romantic daydreams come true.

It was more of a tragedy. _You are my tragedy. _My downfall.

And I'm broken and hurt and scared inside, but I'm walking away this time, for good, with my head held high (even if my dignity is in shattered pieces on the floor). And don't come running after me, because darling, your desperation isn't attractive.

_And I won't be made a fool of._

All your broken promises, all the times you let me down without a second thought. You never gave a damn about me. You only proved that _everybody else was right_. You never had a heart, you only had a reputation. A filthy, cruel reputation that thrived on lies. So well done, congratulations – they were right about you. You don't know what love is.

_Don't call this love._

You swore you'd take care of me, swore you'd never let anything hurt me.

You lied.

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><p><strong>'tragedy'<strong>

_by christina perri_

please review :)


	4. Bang Bang Bang

_Bang, bang, bang, boy, you're going down, down, down, boy._

And so we've come full circle. You're in the exact same position I was. Do you see now how much it hurt? Do you see now the type of pain you were causing me? Because it felt like this. It felt exactly like this, and honey, you'd better rethink the way you treat people, because what goes around comes around.

_How does it feel, to swim in your own tears?_

And while you were lying, my friend, I was dying, and now I think you know why. Because everything takes a little strength. Love hurts. And that's just the way the world works, don't you see? Don't you get it? She hurt you like you hurt me, and I couldn't be more happy.

_Five, four, three, two, one._

You knew it was coming, I knew it was coming, because often life isn't fair but sometimes it can surprise you. And sweetheart, this isn't a bad thing. You've just got to learn to take what you give out. You win some and you lose some and baby, how does your own medicine feel?

_Bang, she shot you, karma tastes so sweet._

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><p><strong>'bang bang bang'<strong>

_by christina perri_

please review :)


	5. Arms

_How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around?_

I never thought I'd find someone like you. Someone who loved me, with no price tag and no strings attached. I never thought you'd show up. I've been hurt too many times before. I'd all but given up hope, and I'd never truly loved, until you.

_The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved._

What do you see in me? What can I offer you in return? Because you've done so much for me and I know I have to give you something back, but everytime I mention what you mean to me, you shrug it off and keep playing my superhero. And I don't think you really understand how important you are to me.

_I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling._

You walked right into my life and took my tattered heart, hanging together by a thread, and fixed it up with tape and superglue. And I think I could die happy if you'd hold me one more time because darling, I'm in love with you.

_You put your arms around me and I'm home._

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><p><strong>'arms'<strong>

_by christina perri_

please review :)


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